Lonely...

Will this forever be me?....

I'm sitting here once again computer as my only companion and my heart is heavy tonight... Tonight we celebrated the 2 most LOVING people on the planets 40th Wedding Anniversary... 40 YEARS people! My Uncle Craig and Aunt Sue...Oh how I love them! They are a true example of what true love is and loving each other through the good and bad... And in the mist of all this love and happiness....I am sad.. I want SO much to be loved and to love someone who adores me and thinks I'm the most funniest, prettiest, loving person out there. Sometimes I just lose hope and get so down and get so bitter and then other times I believe and I know cause I can see it all around me that there are actual men who love and adore their wives and would do anything for them.. And as I sit here I feel SO alone and almost starved for affection and attention... Just a hug would be nice.. I realize that I haven't even been on a decent date for the LONGEST time.. (you know the kind where a nice man picks you up and takes you out and PAYS for dinner) Does that even exist anymore? I have so my hang ups I can't even seem to make out of my woman cave long enough to even see if anyone is out there for me... I hope that one day I will find him... Someone who just loves me for being ME! Someone who doesn't mind the fact that I will forever act younger then I am just cause I think I'm so funny! Someone who doesn't mind my weird and loud personality! Someone who understands I'm spontaneous and goofy! Someone who will love my sons as much as they love me... Someone who will just love ME, all of me always and forever...

So grown up...

I went to get Xavy's hair cut for school and Aiden wanted his hair cut SOOO bad! So I decided to let him get his hair cut. This is the first time we cut it so short! He looks so grown up now! *sniff* He loves it! He always says he wants the spiky hair like Xavy! So this short do is like having the spiky hair for him! Hee hee! We will let him think that! ;)