Lonely...

Will this forever be me?....

I'm sitting here once again computer as my only companion and my heart is heavy tonight... Tonight we celebrated the 2 most LOVING people on the planets 40th Wedding Anniversary... 40 YEARS people! My Uncle Craig and Aunt Sue...Oh how I love them! They are a true example of what true love is and loving each other through the good and bad... And in the mist of all this love and happiness....I am sad.. I want SO much to be loved and to love someone who adores me and thinks I'm the most funniest, prettiest, loving person out there. Sometimes I just lose hope and get so down and get so bitter and then other times I believe and I know cause I can see it all around me that there are actual men who love and adore their wives and would do anything for them.. And as I sit here I feel SO alone and almost starved for affection and attention... Just a hug would be nice.. I realize that I haven't even been on a decent date for the LONGEST time.. (you know the kind where a nice man picks you up and takes you out and PAYS for dinner) Does that even exist anymore? I have so my hang ups I can't even seem to make out of my woman cave long enough to even see if anyone is out there for me... I hope that one day I will find him... Someone who just loves me for being ME! Someone who doesn't mind the fact that I will forever act younger then I am just cause I think I'm so funny! Someone who doesn't mind my weird and loud personality! Someone who understands I'm spontaneous and goofy! Someone who will love my sons as much as they love me... Someone who will just love ME, all of me always and forever...

So grown up...

I went to get Xavy's hair cut for school and Aiden wanted his hair cut SOOO bad! So I decided to let him get his hair cut. This is the first time we cut it so short! He looks so grown up now! *sniff* He loves it! He always says he wants the spiky hair like Xavy! So this short do is like having the spiky hair for him! Hee hee! We will let him think that! ;)

First day of 1st grade...

My BIG boy..

Xavy in his line waiting to go inside...

So my baby started 1st grade today! He was SO excited and I was a complete wreck! lol.. I made him tell me his lunch number over and over and made sure he was holding his papers he was supposed to give his teachers tight enough! Oh geez! I was a little crazy! Then me and Aiden walked back to the car and I took him to school! I get to work and I started crying like crazy! I realized I hadn't told him where I would meet him after school and what if I can't find him?? I cried and cried and my Mom sat and comforted me and told me everything would be fine...

Well I FOUND him after and he LOVED it and remembered his lunch number like a good boy! Everything is good and YES, I KNOW I'M A BABY! But HE is MY BABY and he is growing up faster then I want him to! *sigh*

But I'm so proud of him and glad we made it through the first day just fine! Love you my BIG boy! =) (Did I mention that he is a whole HEAD taller then every kid in his class?) lol...

Just feeling BLAH....

This is how I have been feeling lately.... BLAH BLAH BLAH!!! There is NEVER enough time in the day to get everything done... My house feels like its always a mess and the laundry piles on my front room couches seem to just be getting BIGGER and BIGGER!! My baby is starting 1st grade on Monday!! Is this really happening?? Where did the past 6 years go? We went and saw his new school and his classroom yesterday.... He was SO excited and I'm sitting there thinking....He doesn't know anyone, will he be okay lunch? will other kids be mean to him? will he make friends? oh it goes on and on.... Why do my babies have to grow up? Oh this makes me sad....

Blah BLAH BLAH....

Happy 4th of July!...

All smiles on the 4th!

Sweet brothers...

Us...

silly boys..

Aiden eating his cupcake...

Our 3D firework glasses...

How do I look?

Uncle B lighting the fireworks...

Pop City and the boys..

Yes, we are nerd butts!

Sparklers in the day time!! =)

Yum! Watermelon!

The kiddies watching the fireworks..

Happy 4th of July!

We had such a good 4th of July weekend! We made cupcakes and homemade ice cream and Uncle B took the boys to the Carnival, then we went over to AshieB's house to light fireworks with Pop City with some cool 3D glasses! We then went down to Provo to watch the stadium of fire fireworks with The Wright family! Always so much fun! Happy 4th of July! =)

Boating...

Crazy Xavy..

Posh and Xavy knee boarding...

Ash, Xav and Pam getting their feet wet..

Pam and boys...

Too much sunscreen....

Aiden helping Stevie drive the boat...

Aiden tubing with diz diz... ;)

Posh and Xavy tubing..

Xavy and mommy...

Cool Aiden...

Xavy on the knee board...

So sleepy on the drive home...

Too much fun for one day...

We went boating with the Wright's on Sunday. The boys were SO nervous on the drive up! They said they were NOT going in the water! But by the end of the day both boys went tubing and Xavy even tried knee boarding. I can't believe they did it! Both boys were screaming "FASTER" It was so cute! We had so much fun and I'm paying for all that fun today! Hee hee... I can't move! My whole body is sore! I find myself laughing at random times when I think of Pam and Steve on the tube! They hit a wave and Pam fell out, next thing we see is the tube sideways with Steve standing straight in the air for what seemed like minutes! It was so funny! I think Steve is planning his sweet revenge on us! lol.. We had SO much fun and the boys haven't stopped talking about it! Thanks again to our second family! We love you guys! =)

Swimming...

Swim loves...

Taking a snack break...

Xavy and Mommy..

The A-bawg...

Big Xavy...

Since it has rained for almost the whole month of June... We have only been swimming about 3 times! The boys wish for sunny weather everyday! They LOVE to swim and are really good in the water this year! It's been fun and we can't wait to go more! =)